Finding your girlfriend's mom attractive doesn't make you a bad person; it makes you a person with eyes. However, acting on it, dwelling on it, or letting it affect how you treat your partner makes you a "bad boyfriend" candidate.

The problem arises when I catch myself comparing her to Emily. It's not that Emily isn't beautiful - she is. But her style and demeanor are vastly different from her mom's. Emily is more laid-back and casual, often preferring comfort over style. While I adore her for who she is, I sometimes find myself wishing she could be more like her mom - more refined, more put together.

You stay with your girlfriend, but you grow cold, distant, or critical because she can’t compete with her own mother. You start making “jokes” about her mom’s looks. You withdraw intimacy. Verdict: Cruel and cowardly. Your girlfriend will sense something is wrong. She’ll blame herself, change her wardrobe, lose weight, or try desperately to become her mother. You will have emotionally abused her without ever touching her mom. This is worse than acting on it, because it’s a slow poison.

, and the simple fact that a parent often represents a "mature" version of the traits you already find attractive in your partner.

You recognize that your attraction to her mother is not just a passing thought – it’s a symptom. A symptom that you are not truly attracted to your girlfriend. If her mom is “much finer,” that means your girlfriend is not enough for you . Action: You break up with your girlfriend. But you do it kindly, and you never mention her mother as the reason . You say, “I’ve realized we’re not right for each other long-term. You deserve someone who is 100% in this, and that’s not me.” Afterward: Do not under any circumstances contact the mom. Move on. Find someone your own age – or if you genuinely prefer older women, date a different older woman who is not your ex’s mother.